pictures or whatever.

Informed Self-destruction.

"At this time in history, there is more evidence demonstrating the existence of God than at any time in the past. Much of that evidence is presented on this site. In addition, there are missionaries throughout the world proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ and the salvation that He offers as a free gift. Although the gift is "free," it will cost you your sin, selfishness, and pride. Since none of these character traits are allowed into heaven, those who insist upon holding onto these traits cannot enter into heaven, but must be separated from God in a place called hell. Therefore, those who go to hell do so voluntarily, preferring hell to complete submission to a holy and just God." ~ Excerpt God And Science.org

Current Music : Peter Cincotti - Comes love

Self-loathing[and self-explanitory]
The title means I hate myself.

I am Sean's sick brain, full of anxiety, I double as primer if you intend on painting a wall in fire-engine red with speckles of grey.

These are lyrics.

We have one chance
One chance...

To get everything right

We have one chance
One chance...

And if we're lucky we might

My friends, My habbits, My Family
They mean so much to me

I just don't think that it's right
I've seen so many ships sailing
Just heading back out again
And Go Off sinkin'

I'm just a box in a cage

Didn't mean to laugh
Didn't know i had
Didn't know the better part of what you said 'cause
In your head, you are...
Not home

Didn't get the joke
Didn't mean to poke another
Just to what...somethin somethin somethin somethin somethin or another?
Well walk on

I'm just a box in a cage

We have one chance
One chance...

To get everything right

My friends, My habbits, My Family
They mean so much to me
I just don't think that it's right
I've seen so many ships sailing
Just heading back out again
And Go Off sinkin'


This is the end of the post.

(this is the current music part)
Current Music : Modest Mouse - One Chance

Really quick

The background picture was taken by BEN on JOSH'S camera.. k thx. It was still my fire.

Last night I played half-life for exactly an hour and a half, and I got to um.. ON A RAIL then my dad made me go to bed... another hour and a half and I probably would've beaten it ^_~ oh well

I guess I wont break any records today.

Current Music : Kronos Quartet - Summer Overture

Offline post!
Thats what we call it in the business..

When ones cable goes offline at 11:23pm and doesnt-- or should I say "probably wont" --come back online until 3:34am, and one gets bored and decides to write a post in notepad.

I say that it'll come back online at 3:30am because I stayed awake one time to see.. yup.

Typing in notepad has such a different feeling to it, normal blogging feels like you're talking to someone else, writing an offline post is like talking to yourself, which in itself isnt that akward for me as I talk to myself alot.

I never stop thinking.. my brain is like the energizer bunny from hell, it just keeps going and going and going and going and going and GOING AND GOIING AND GOING... even when I'm asleep.. I dont have all that much to think about, so I have a very active imagination.

...truncated. *sigh*

Current Music : Modest Mouse - Satin in a coffin

Beginning band.

Dont lie unless you're willing to sustain it forever with more lies and effort.

For instance:

We clapped and complimented the beginning band at the end of the year concert, even though they sounded pretty awful. Even the tone-chimes sans 2 members sounded better...

I think that parents maintain the lie that kids are good at something they're not at to give them hope, and they sustain that fabricated- but not false -hope until the kid actually is good at something... that or they just wait for the ciriculumn to beat them back if they suck, all the while maintaining "try your bestest" -- "it isnt about winning"..

Of course it isnt about winning, life is death in degrees, winning though is just proof of your skill therefore if you lose, you have less skill than the person who beat you. its a simple fact.

Not to say that the beginning was competing with anyone yesterday... just saying that we as a group huddle around them and lavish them with encouragement until they actually amount to our expectations, and if they dont they get the same warm and fuzzy reception, only, directed towards quitting and changing thier career options around.

I still want to be a police-man.

Or.. you could think about the elaborate mythologies we have in the modern day entertainment industry. Our culture is so clean and sanitary, and yet we watch some of the most gruesome and grotesque things in movies and on TV.

Shock entertainment. :[

So I say this, because today immediately after getting out of church, as I was breaking down the youth group's info booth, this older lady (in her 70's?) had missed a step, tripped and fell...

She actually landed on her head, I think she's o.k. now, but she was bleeding pretty badly and my friend looked over when it happened because her skull made this loud thumping sound when it hit the pavement and we were at least 40 feet away... :/

All of this being a perfectly normal freak-accident (if there is such a thing), I bring it up because of the general look of shock and malign that EVERYONE got from it, I guess I'm just surprised at the fact that we as a culture crave violence, and yet, when something -mildly- gorey happens everyone falls to pieces.

meh... I had more when I was ranting to my dad in the car about it, I dunno.

Is it just me or have we traded reality for a fantasy?

Current Music : E-Type - Calling your name

Random thoughts at 5am

- It isnt bed-time until a vein in my eye explodes into a river of blood.
- If I could powernap right now I could regenerate limbs.
- Who wouldnt want to be up this late(early)?

p.s. please see kathy-san's site, now linked in friends... because she's one cool mother.

Current Music : Rolling Stones - Little Red Rooster

Lithargic
Yep.

I just woke up from an hour and a half nap and I feel fresh as a daisy.. or a rose? I forget that saying. I dont like sayings or puns... they're generally silly/not true.

So its weird I woke up realy warm but my window is sorta open so I felt the cold breeze when I first got up and I kinda tripped out because I was still half-asleep, and oh my god yeah I left modest mouse on. good album, even if I'm not thrilled they're popular now.

its 48 minutes long, I slept for around twice that, so I got to hear it all alot.. although I've noticed winamp's shuffle doesnt exactly play the WHOLE list before repeating a track or two, so I suppose it is truely random... I woke up to "float on" and my computer monitor was sleeping too, away message on, no messages, no incoming messages on steam, nobody's in a game, no match tonight.. sorry.

Now I remember why I went to sleep. maybe it was the modest mouse, maybe it was the lithargic psuedo-depression? probably both.

Now I'm gonna attempt to write something.. god save us all!


You're the sweetest tasting drug I do,
I hug my pillow and pretend I'm hugging you.

When these eyes have not seen you for days,
Thats when these eyes get a sickly glaze.

A slouch in the back, and a mopey look on the face,
Yes, those are two things that denote my malaise.

I feel a bit sick, but I know you're still true,
I feel like a dick, knowing I could call you.

And then the end of the day closes on me and I fear for tomarrow,
How long could I wait? How much time could I borrow?

Until I see you again, this is my discpline:
to be happily miserable and commit no sin. ;)


its bad, I know.. I havent proof-read it or anything.. I just woke up.. or whatever.. some more excuses here... andd uhhh PS.. I'm not all that depressed, just kinda lonely ^ . ~

[This song *JUST* went on as I was signing the current music, before I wrote all of this in fact. Most of the time I dont let shyster songs steal the credits for inspiring the whole post, but this one is definately worth it.]

Current Music : Modest Mouse - One Chance

Hell and high water
Thats right, come both, I'm still here.

Alots been going on, more for the better than for the worse... lately life has been stressful but its been paying off. Lots of luck, lots of blessings..

Heres something that should make your day better: http://suprnova.org/, I got it from jess.. :D its a torrent site that has ALOT of downloadable goodies.. I got the new modest mouse album there, 'good news for people who like bad news' (:[ thanks though miki!)

And oh-my-gosh, I dont know if I'm just more emotional lately or what, but theres a few things that've gotten me all teary, like the lambs in the modest mouse video, Float On.. and the poor boars in princess mononoke :'[ sad

Who knew I was capable of love and emotion? :] this tingling sensation is mildly enjoyable.

and dennn... the GPC is working with DHT to make a 5on5 Team deathmatch tournement. (on The Specialists, if you were curious)..

I'm in the starting line-up :D heat 1 of double-eliminations starts tomarrow, first game I think is [GPC] vs =SAS=, I'll try to keep everyone in the loop with videos and Half-lifeTV coverage, that is, if we get either ^.~ otherwise I'll just have to convince the leaders its a good idea to let biased spectators watch :| that probably wont fly though.

oh well.

So, new lay-out? heh.. I could've mentioned it sooner in this post, but I'm sure you've already noticed.. It all started when I killed my old one by over-writing it without saving, and then my hard-backup of the old one wasnt
updated with all of the extras that it has now, so I figured it'd be good to just make a new one.. I was in the mood for change :D

The fiery image was taken by Josh, tweaked by me.. I provided the fire in the first place ;) so I have rights to that picture :D.. if anyone asks I'll just say "Well it was my fire! rather beautiful huh??"

Also, my lay-out fever was goaded on by the fact that miki updated hers with domo-kun.. ^__^ very good.

oooooyyyy........... soo soorree......

and I had four cups of coffee today... two from starbucks, two from home. the starbucks were um... vanilla_chai_latte and zebra_mocha /w espresso_dopio on the side..

tiredness. soreness. headacheness. missingmygirlness.

:| Music is consoling.

p.s. ~ If you have any comments/complaints/ideas about the lay-out, please, fire away. I need input on everything. tell me if you even STOP BY for god's sake.. I can only tell because I have a hit-counter.

Current Music : Modest Mouse - This Devil's Workday

!blah

Lack of sleep makes the soul sick. I had to say that because I've been pushing myself to go to sleep sooner, and it hasent been happening even though I get up earlier... and its really killing me.

After that, my template is dead dead-dead-dead.... long day tomarrow... and its dead.

crap.

Current Music : Van Morrison - Someone like you

Today
Was pretty lonely.

Only a few people know the definition, even fewer know the joke behind it.. but I doubt any of the bizzarros read this.. oh well.

Even that thought sort of generates lonliness, its an on-going process that'll eat you up... if you let it.

After that, its just a matter of working everything else out, and finding something good in life along the way.

Current Music : E-type - Arabian Star

E3 Corrections

Sorry folks, that was Final Fantasy 11, and Front MISSION 4...

..in addition, Fable is only an RPG, not an MMORPG..

Lord knows what else I garbled up in that den of electronically induced insanity.

E3... again..
one really long, really butchered post.

Well, I wasnt going to type this out, but some people were really anxious to hear about E3 -.- Here goes..

This whole thing is a total freak thing: my uncle called my mom thursday night and told her that he had an extra pass that I could use if I wanted to go.. but it was the next morning at 5:30! anyways.. luck is on my side(now that death isnt, for those who know.)

I woke up about 5:30am -my uncle was supposed to pick me up at 6:30am- I got out of bed promptly and took a shower, out of the shower and dressed by 6:00am, uncle showed up at 6:10am, a little early, but I was ready and I was gonna start a game of soldat to kill time.

Off we went, he made a few calls and we stopped by to get jeff(the same jeff rotter on my name-tag, but you wouldnt've known as they called him 'the jew' all day..)... he was slow out of his house, and it was lucky that I was ready early, because we needed that extra 20 minutes to wait for slowbie.

Once we left there we rendevouxed with phil and shane at this little mexican/american food place called henry's, ate breakfast.. my burrito got switched with jeff's and so half-way through we traded back when he was like "that g**damned wh**e forgot to leave off the cilantro".. ^^

From there we left straight for the L.A. convention center where E3 was at, it was the third and final day, so the crowds werent too bad when we showed up around 8:45, then went into the kentia hall, which is supposed to be super ghetto..

In that hall me and shane challenged Fatal1ty, the 'worlds best quake3 player' according to CPL... over the 3 days of E3 I think he was only killed 12 times against like 300 opponants, and one girl(suzuka) accounted for 11 of those kills.

The other one was a lucky reporter who caught him in the face with a lucky ricochet shot..

So I we walked around and played some ancient arcade games strewn around this one booth, I still dont know what the booth was for.. but yeah ^^

After we killed a half an hour there, we went back to the fatal1ty 100(100 challengers per day) shootout, and I watched the first 3 guys fall to him like nothing, I think it was like 8-0, 9-0, 10-0.. my turn came up, and I just played as aggresively as I could; I'd never played unreal tournement 2004, and that computer had some wacky binds, they only let me set E-S-D-F and invert mouse, so I got whomped a few times when I bumped TAB by accident and activated message-mode, so all of my frantic FORWARD+FORWARD double tapping was just making a line of E's and spaces acrossed the screen..

I got killed something like 0-16, and I got a shirt that said 'I got fragged by fatal1ty'

Forgive me if any of these summations seem trite or unfounded, it was dark... lots of running and screaming... yeah ^^

We took off and went into the north hall, first game we saw was chronicles of riddick, which looked like a movie it was so slick.. I'm wondering if the plot is as smooth? the game was playable there, but I didnt bother to stop. it gets a 4-O-ooooh

Next up was Stalker, a SERIOUSLY nice looking FPS, based in chernobyl, 25 years after the fact.. I didnt really catch much more than that because I was too busy drooling at the really nice graphics, smooth gameplay, awesome enviorments and day/night transitions.. very realistic, and one of the only games I was really interested in than HL2. 5-O-Oooooh

Next booth was Blizzard, I saw World of Warcraft which looked alot like WC3 just with the chase-camera always down and a little bit higher res ^_~ sorry to disappoint you guys and gals.. good for you MMORPG/blizzard banana-eating yokels. 3-O-Oooh

Starcraft ghosts looked sweet, I'm only afraid it'd be too easy ^_~ slick graphics, neat FMV's, interesting if you're into starcraft and fps's 3-O-Oooh

I saw another game called 'Advent rising'? really not sure, it was a demo rolling on a big-screen.. very smooth looking PS2 third person shooter, stylish and whatnot, one of the better and more original shooters I saw, although I'm not even sure of the name/console/release date.. keep your eyes peeled. 4-O's

I didnt see HL2 because the line was hell long, but I'm assuming it pwns, so I'll just save all of my excitment for when its released.

Square-enix booth: FF11, Star ocean and Frontline 4, that I remember.

FF11 looked nice ^^ I know all of the FF people (JESS) are like TELL ME MORE! but I only got to play for like five minutes, and its very smooth ^^ 4-O's

Frontline was ehh... looked like turn-based armored core with body specific damages... but with very crappy graphics.. maybe it was for ps1? I dunno. 1 Oh.

Star ocean, was one of the few RPGs that REALLY caught my eye.. very sexy like everything else, google it and check it out. 4-O-Ooooh

Konami booth:
MGS3: Snake-eater looks very good, solid graphics, more weapon variety, some new features I didnt recognize and dont care to speculate on ^^' but I'm only afraid the plot will be worn-out and crappy like MGS2... just let it die konami.. please. 4-O's

Neo-Contra looks fun ^^ I only caught a glance of it, but I think konami did a good work of exhuming that old corpse unlike *SOME* old-skool remakes. 3-O's

Price of persia 2 looks hot, very fluid animations, good rag-dall physics, only saw the trailer. 4-O's

Microsoft booth:
Lots of neat stuff here, also the place we spent the most time, unfortunately I dont have an x-box, and thats what most of these games are exclusive to.. crappy microsoft.

Fable - One of my show-favorites, x-box only, awesome graphics(I know I'm saying that alot: maybe because I play half-life still?), great plot-line, good playabillity; a VERY solid MMORPG... but... XBOX ONLY! ;_; sadness... 5-O- Oooooh

Outrun2 - only remembered this one because it was so dumb, you're driving really fast, your car automatically realigns itself when you spinout, annnd its a shitty racing game. no oh's.. just critisism

Conker - A game about combat squirrels, Impressive graphics[even amidst the E3 rabble] and solid game-play, third person shooter, not sure if its x-box only... worth a look though. 4-O's

Sudeki - sorry, I know you were looking forward to this one, but it looks bad jess >_< everything's slick as owl shit, but it doesnt look like ANY kind of a challenge.. RPG's should stick to turn-based or full combat, and not bother trying to slow the enemies so real-time spellcasting is easier. 3-O's

Full-spectrum Warrior - Neat looking combat strategy(?) I thought it was a FPS with added command capability, from what I saw its more towards a strategy with alot less of the controller-to-character-input that I play for. 4-O-Oooh

Lets see... Unreal Championship 2 looked neato. 4-Oooh's

Half-life2, declared as the "game of show" was trailer only for public, playable for press I think.

Doom3.. lots of videos, but still no playing... hot graphics but silly looking enemies.

Silent Hill 4: the room... For all of those Silent Hillers out there.. more-better than the other 3.

Hm... and now... I cant remember anything else..

THATS IT! ask me about any of the games and i'll see if I can recover the knowledge from the E3 induced hazey memory.

Current Music : FF8 - Desperados (standy remix)

Well..
This was gonna be a poem or something.. but as soon as I saw that the 3 page post about E3 didnt save when I left last night, I kinda got grumpy

grumpiness. >:[

grumples.

dont abuse my words, I'll shank'ya.

Current Music : E-Type - World on fire

Electronic Entertainent Expo
As in... E3.

Thats where I be when you read this(if you read it friday)..

I had some stuff I wanted to say but I forgot.. I'll try to remember and post that stuff and E3 stuff here later~

p.s. I might bring some goodies back for my peoples, but like I figured it with ryan, at E3 you normally have about 60lbs of stuff, so if I triple up.. that'll be 180lbs.. I weigh 150lbs.. so I figure I'll need a pack burro and a mongolian sherpa to aid me on my quest.

Thats it.

Current Music : DJ Food - Tank! [remixed]

OOOoooohh....
Who lives in a pine-apple under the sea?
Yes folks, its time for another post.

Soo... soldat still rocks, and it makes me happy... although all of this 2D ish is dropping my 3D skills :/

All-in-all, its a fun game, worth the 10mg download, worth the $9? maybe.. maybe not, if you want Soldat registered, contact me after you install v12 and the v12 fix... :) you shall be hooked up punctually.

Randomly: My dad -and mom- was kinda pissed with my non-productivity, so he laid down the law, and made the more-than-fair rule of: Go to bed when he goes to bed, wake up when he wakes up. He's got the same sleep schedule I *SHOULD* have(2am-8am), so thats good..

Today was good, band may've sucked, but there was no effort on my part to counter-act the sucking, I just cant see myself in any kind of band..presently or in the future.... I dunno.

After band, and all of that good stuff.. I was really exhausted, I'm getting used to 6hours of sleep and begging my body to crack and give up and force me to sleep around 12pm so I can get up at 8am like a human being... and that in itself is draining my very will to live... I carry on though.

So yeah, after I got home tired, I cleaned up a bit, miki came over and we watched Lost in Translation, that movie is so good... After that we hung out and tickled the hell out of each other, good times ^_^

Soo.. the moo-cow has not missed anything.... masonite is still the shiznat blasta from nebraska, this is an idiotic idea, but you+me+ryan at a LANcafe could get interesting... just be sure to bring a tazer, or a lead pipe... it gets nasty out here.

Last thing; this is an order, NOT a request... stop by Ryan's think-tank and kiss the blarney-site, and then wish him and his blog a happy 1 year anniversary.. or whatever.

I would've paraphrased something here, but it didnt para-trans-pose itself correctly.. oh well..

Two more things:
1) I'm going to 'the barn sale' tomarrow, its basically this big farm-house property thats in the ownership of some community of old-folks, long story short, they sell old stuff there garage-sale style.. its gonna be good. I need me a new pair of nickers.

2) I'm more than unbiased to new software interfacing (see Steam online), but this new blogger layout is pretty weak... in the two years I've had it its gone from Crisp, clean and technical, to kinda mushy, user-friendly interface, to this new devilry, it looks like a MacOS... all it needs to be laughable is some chibified DBZ characters and a little bit of neon colors..

Honestly though, its still as powerful as it used to be, they just put too much emphasis on the basics and burried the technical goodies so that rookies dont get CoNfUsEd... that doesnt fly. oh well.

Current Music : DJ Sammy - Heaven [slow version]

Soldats Uberalles
8)

So if you havent been pestered by me yet, I just discovered Soldat, yeah.. I know.. I'm a late bloomer..

Anyways, contact me for the *ahem*_full_ version, and then we'll have us some happy fraggin..

I personally enjoy white shirt, brown skin, black hair, green fatigues and mako-materia blue jetboosters..

And then a nice Ruger 77 with the M72 Law: for some long ranged ownage.. closeup is all counter-strike style, MP5/Socom.. they wont even know what hit em..

This game is fun and theres alot of arcade style gore, not as much perhaps as earlier today when I mortally wounded my foot on this corner edge of a computer-tower panel... dont ask. Alls you need to know is that the coffee runs so thick in my blood that the wound bled black and healed over in minutes.

:P I wish.

I'll see some of you tomarrow(but only the important ones), the rest of you, thursday... sunday... saturday... take your pick, my week is your laundry-mat: stick a quarter in and its all spinning crazy like a wagon-wheel.

Current Music : Modest Mouse - Custom Concern

HehHeHeHeHeHe
Blogger has become yet again, more Mac looking.

Jesus wept.

I'm addicted, arent you?


Its funny that mavav hasnt updated since.. I dont know... 5 years ago...? I havent seen any of their articles online since I first discovered their site.

also, this blogger thing is kinda creeping me out... if only I had pictures of the original blogger, it was so crispy and crunchy, it was like a heath bar.

Current Music : Modest Mouse - Third Planet

Demonology
Be afraid, be very afraid.

Well, in a revering way, like fire. But fires can be put out too.

I find it odd that I and so many of my aquantances are randomly into demonology, its so relevant too, it isnt like studying greek mythical creatures, its more like studying what makes your day feel so gloomy or what makes you just _snap_ when something gets on your nerves one too many times.. you lose control, you give it up, wonder why? Welcome to the study of demons.

Its all interesting, scary, awe-inspiring stuff.. God is real.

what elsse..... one two three reasons to smile. go miki.


Tomarrow's going to suck, this I know. 8 hours of sleep in a 48 hour span makes sean a dull boy, and an ugly one... look at those bags.. my my my.

2:30am.. I guess I should get started on that homework now...

Current Music : DJ Sammy - Heaven (slow version)

A post

Dedicated entirely to this:[LINK]

I weep for the future of TS. Vino is a greaser.

blah.

Current Music : Michelle Branch - Its you

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to Purgatory!

Purgatory

---

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

P.S. Orange aka tethant aka Mason is going to the 9th level of hell.. roffle... poor fool :P

Current Music : Nancy Sinatra - Bang bang (my baby shot me down)

A big thanks to Geocities
For making this post possible.

Suckers.

These are the, {reasons I live {Things I love. Ask me about anything, and I'll tell you the story behind it.


Good food.


Acting crazy...


like my vietnamese neighbors.


Random joy.


Burning things.


Stopping to smell the... Jasmine.


Late nighters...


with music.


Being hyperactive...


while playing videogames.


Enjoying a photogenic sip of soda,


or some other kinda photogenic thing altogether.


Like a kodak moment,


or scaring people away.


Cute things.


Fun things.


and the future.

Current Music : Back-seat Bar Mitvzfah - Bossman's solo feat. Bossman

Sean is a _____ __ individiual
You figure it out.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Current Music : Standby - FF8 Desperados

No thanks
I'd rather not make a business out of logo making.

I was thinking about just making a site with some info and a paypal button.. but I changed my mind. I mean.. the money would be nice, and there are plenty of newbies and slowbies who'd love to shell out 10$ for a fistful of logos, but I couldnt see working under someone's direction on something I normally do with little or no outside inspiration.

Same goes for poetry, I cant see myself making art, poetry or jokes or anything as a forced response.. everything I do is an immediate and natural reaction that displays what I'm thinking. I dont think about it, and I do very little to refine the raw thought as its pouring onto whatever medium.

All of that being said, I just wish I could find some kind of non-labor-intensive well-paying yet inspired and enjoyable job I could do.. sofar the computer business is all there is.. but even if I could bring in 70k a year, and retire early, and raise a half dozen kids and send them through college and own everything I could possibly want to own, would I still have anything of intellectual or creative worth to pass down to my children, or would I just give them my career and tell them to make money and then die?

I want something that fulfils my physical and present needs, but also the unseen and future needs of myself and those around me.

Theres alot of deep-seeded thinking behind my current laziness, its just I cant find the right nitch, and I wont work or progress until I do. I know all of you "experienced" and "mature" people are thinking I should just dive at the first job that poses "applicable experience" and "good pay".. but theres alot more to it than that, for me anyways.

Where I work, and what I do there will be a part of me for the rest of my life, maybe not in these first few jobs, but later on. And the biggest thing that affects "later on" is now. The jobs I choose become the experience I apply, becomes the field I excel in, becomes my permanate career, and I'd rather not waste time working at something I'd drop in the future anyways.

So, out of that.. I'd like to work at iKEA; experience; applicable to nearly anything, wide range of positions, room for promotions; good pay, applicable seniority, location; off a free-way close-by, not so close I can bike or walk, but close enough a daily drive wouldnt be any kind of burden, and most of all room to breathe, large warehouses, empty show-room floors, sanitary customer services, no touching people, no juices transfered, no sweating, because of the A/C, no helping needy people, just point at a sign, or go through a process, or throw a stick and let them fetch it, or just take a lunch break.

Also I think possibly, but not probably: 1)employees get discounts & 2)starting salary is 9$ per hour

Only thing I dont know.. is if they'll hire under 18...

I could just show them this post and tell them I'm smarter than the average 16 year old- even 18 year old for that matter.

Current Music : The Postal Service - Sleeping In