pictures or whatever.

Life is beautiful

Having a someone and being an us are great things
I hope the way things are last as long as they can

The days I spend with her are so long but go by so fast
They bleed together into one happy picture that I cant really explain

We're going to watch movies today
so today is going to be a good day

!Sean

Current Music : The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Analogue Renaissance
I want to start a holy film crusade
but I'm going to need a horse and chariot

I'm thinking about starting one of those charity sites like savetoby.com

what do you guys think?

!Sean

Current Music : Pinback - Offline P.k.

Brain Depot

this week has been insane. I'll just lay it out in a list so you know how busy I've been.

last sunday night/monday morning I packed and left for the grand canyon
stayed awake the whole ride there,
watched the sun rise through barstow
stopped for coffee and gasoline in ludlow
drove through the mojave
saw the central area of the grand canyon's south rim
slept like bullocks
coffee, ravens, heavy afternoon rain with the sun still out
more central rim
more bad sleep
more coffee
and I cant quite remember what else
bus/hiking tour of the south-western portion
more afternoon rain
saw a fully grown male elk
nosebleeds
watching the grand canyon railroad in the rain
looking at the sunset, stars and lightening over the east end
found a graveyard and some ghosts
not sleeping due to rolling thunder
last day
packing up
venturing to the far south-eastern rim
watching clouds, lightening and condors over the grand canyon
looked at the grand canyon one last time
threw a rock in
huge drive home
extended showering period to clean the grandyon off of myself

friday!
surprise picnic with carolyn
sitting by the lake
an epic toast
watching people walking dogs
checkers
coffee at josh's starbucks
more checkers
more coffee
stratego

saturday :/
6am alarm
leaving at 7am
CALIFORNIA HIGHSCHOOL PROFICIENCY EXAM AT 8
11:30, feeling sick, feeling like a failure
driving home angry
i go boom

2:30
going to the wrong beach
getting lost
...really lost
getting a ride
5:30
late for the bonfire
telling secrets
telling no lies
california sunsets rule arizona sunsets
more sponetaneous plans
got a movie and movie candy
watching embarassing but good home-movies<3
the breakfast club at carolyns with josh, shandean and kristen
throwing peanuts
throwing sharks
falling in love
falling asleep
and then there was today
...

!Sean

Current Music : Death cab for cutie - Transatlanticism

right between the eyes

I know I said it was 219, but this is all of the ones I could fit on my shuffle for this week.

1. Air - Cherry Blossom Girl (3:41)
2. AIR - La femme d'argent (7:11)
3. AIR - Sexy boy (5:00)
4. AIR - All I need (4:28)
5. AIR - Kelly watch the stars (3:46)
6. AIR - Talisman (4:18)
7. AIR - Remember (2:34)
8. AIR - You make it easy (4:01)
9. AIR - Ce matin la (3:38)
10. AIR - new star in the sky (5:40)
11. AIR - Le voyage de penelope (3:11)
12. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) (4:48)
13. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #2 (Laika) (3:32)
14. The Arcade Fire - Une Année Sans Lumiere (3:41)
15. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) (5:12)
16. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles) (4:49)
17. The Arcade Fire - Crown of Love (4:42)
18. The Arcade Fire - Wake Up (5:35)
19. The Arcade Fire - Haiti (4:07)
20. The Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies) (5:10)
21. The Arcade Fire - In the Back Seat (6:20)
22. Built to Spill - Big Dipper (4:09)
23. Built To Spill - Broken Chairs (8:40)
24. Built to Spill - Car (2:59)
25. Built to Spill - Carry the Zero (5:43)
26. Built To Spill - Center Of The Universe (2:43)
27. Built to Spill - Distopian Dream Girl (4:24)
28. Built to Spill - Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss (2:42)
29. Built To Spill - Happiness (3:40)
30. Built to Spill - I Would Hurt a Fly (6:14)
31. Built To Spill - In Your Mind (3:46)
32. Built to Spill - Lie For A Lie (3:15)
33. Built to Spill - Made-Up Dreams (4:52)
34. Built to Spill - Stab (5:29)
35. Built To Spill - Still Flat (4:30)
36. Built To Spill - Built To Spill - Strange.mp3 (3:59)
37. Built To Spill - Temporarily Blind (4:48)
38. Built to spill - The Plan (3:29)
39. Built To Spill - The Weather (4:34)
40. Built To Spill - Velvet Waltz (8:33)
41. Built To Spill - You Were Right (4:45)
42. Clinic - Mr Moonlight (3:59)
43. Clinic - Walking With Thee (2:36)
44. Death Cab For Cutie - The New Year (4:06)
45. Death Cab For Cutie - Lightness (3:30)
46. Death Cab For Cutie - Title And Registration (3:39)
47. Death Cab For Cutie - Expo '86 (4:11)
48. Death Cab For Cutie - The Sound Of Settling (2:12)
49. Death Cab For Cutie - Tiny Vessels (4:21)
50. Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism (7:54)
51. Death Cab For Cutie - Passenger Seat (3:41)
52. Death Cab For Cutie - Death Of An Interior Decorator (2:56)
53. Death Cab For Cutie - We Looked Like Giants (5:32)
54. Death Cab For Cutie - A Lack Of Color (3:36)
55. Death Cab For Cutie - Steadier Footing (1:49)
56. Death Cab For Cutie - A Movie Script Ending (4:21)
57. Death Cab For Cutie - We Laugh Indoors (5:00)
58. Death Cab For Cutie - Information Travels Faster (4:04)
59. Death Cab For Cutie - Why You'd Want To Live Here (4:46)
60. Death Cab For Cutie - Blacking Out The Friction (3:29)
61. Death Cab For Cutie - I Was A Kaleidoscope (2:52)
62. Death Cab For Cutie - Styrofoam Plates (5:26)
63. Death Cab For Cutie - Coney Island (2:42)
64. Death Cab For Cutie - Debate Exposes Doubt (4:36)
65. Interpol - Obstacle 1 (4:11)
66. Interpol - Precipitate (5:34)
67. Interpol - Roland (3:44)
68. Interpol - Song Seven (4:40)
69. Interpol - Specialist (6:40)
70. Interpol - Next Exit (3:20)
71. Interpol - Evil (3:35)
72. Interpol - Narc (4:07)
73. Interpol - Take You On A Cruise (4:54)
74. Interpol - Slow Hands (3:04)
75. Interpol - Not Even Jail (5:46)
76. Interpol - Public Pervert (4:40)
77. Interpol - C'mere (3:11)
78. Interpol - Length Of Love (4:06)
79. Interpol - A Time to be so Small (4:50)
80. Iron and Wine - Such Great Heights (4:10)
81. Iron & Wine - On Your Wings (3:53)
82. Iron & Wine - Naked As We Came (2:33)
83. Iron & Wine - Cinder And Smoke (5:44)
84. Iron & Wine - Sunset Soon Forgotten (3:20)
85. Iron & Wine - Teeth In The Grass (2:21)
86. Iron & Wine - Love And Some Verses (3:40)
87. Iron & Wine - Radio War (1:56)
88. Iron & Wine - Each Coming Night (3:27)
89. Iron & Wine - Free Until They Cut Me Down (4:34)
90. Iron & Wine - Fever Dream (4:16)
91. Iron & Wine - Sodom, South Georgia (4:59)
92. Iron & Wine - Passing Afternoon (4:00)
93. Matt Costa - DarlingBeHomeSoon (3:46)
94. Matt Costa - Sunshine (2:24)
95. Matt Costa - Astair (2:58)
96. Matt Costa - Acting Like A Fool (3:03)
97. Matt Costa - TV Gods (2:55)
98. Matt Costa - Shimmering Fields (2:19)
99. Matt Costa - Movin' On (2:44)
100. Peter Cincotti - I Changed The Rules (5:13)
101. Peter Cincotti - Comes Love (4:15)
102. Peter Cincotti - Are You The One? (3:53)
103. Peter Cincotti - Sway (4:10)
104. Peter Cincotti - Miss Brown (4:14)
105. Peter Cincotti - Lovers, Secrets, Lies (3:43)
106. Peter Cincotti - The Fool on the Hill/Nature Boy (3:44)
107. Peter Cincotti - Ain't Misbehavin' (3:41)
108. Peter Cincotti - Come Live Your Life With Me (4:44)
109. Peter Cincotti - Spinning Wheel (3:07)
110. Peter Cincotti - You Stepped Out of a Dream (3:15)
111. Peter Cincotti - Rainbow Connection (4:01)
112. Peter Cincotti - St. Louis Blues (4:15)
113. Pinback - 3x0 (4:00)
114. Pinback - afk (5:13)
115. Pinback - Boo (3:58)
116. Pinback - Bad Light (3:22)
117. Pinback - Byzantine (2:58)
118. Pinback - Concrete Seconds (4:08)
119. Pinback - Crutch (4:19)
120. Pinback - Cubare (3:37)
121. Pinback - Fortress (4:10)
122. pinback - Hurley (3:55)
123. Pinback - June (7:17)
124. Pinback - Loro (3:36)
125. Pinback - Lyon (5:18)
126. Pinback - Non Photo-Blue (3:43)
127. pinback - b (4:52)
128. Pinback - Offline P.K (3:18)
129. Pinback - Penelope (4:46)
130. Pinback - Prog (4:03)
131. Pinback - Sender (4:58)
132. Pinback - EP - Some Voices (3:16)
133. Pinback - Syracuse (3:49)
134. Pinback - Talby (4:01)
135. Pinback - The Yellow Ones (3:36)
136. Pinback - Tres (5:48)
137. Pinback - Tripoli (Ace Fu) (4:30)
138. Pinback - Your Sickness (4:49)
139. The Postal Service - The Dream Of Evan And Chan (5:44)
140. The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Toni (4:44)
141. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights (4:26)
142. The Postal Service - Sleeping In (4:21)
143. The Postal Service - Nothing Better (3:46)
144. The Postal Service - Recycled Air (4:29)
145. The Postal Service - Clark Gable (4:54)
146. The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes (5:00)
147. The Postal Service - This Place is a Prison (3:54)
148. The Postal Service - Brand New Colony (4:12)
149. The Postal Service - Natural Anthem (5:07)
150. Spiritualized - Floating in space (3:41)
151. Spiritualized - Lord Let It Rain On Me (3:43)
152. Spiritualized - She Kissed Me (It Felt Like A (3:29)
153. Spiritualized - Step Into the Breeze (2:44)
154. Viva Voce! - Fashionably Lonely (5:08)
155. Viva Voce! - One In Every Crowd (3:32)
156. Viva Voce! - Red D-Lish (4:53)
157. Viva Voce! - Wrecking Ball (4:44)
158. Viva Voce! - That's Right....Watch Out! (2:43)
159. Viva Voce! - Birds On The Wing (4:02)
160. Viva Voce! - N Luv W/U (1:26)
161. Viva Voce! - Brightest Part Of Everyone (3:21)
162. Viva Voce! - Yr Epic Heart (6:27)
163. Viva Voce! - The Best Thing Ever (Maybe Not) (2:55)
164. Viva Voce! - The Tiger And How We Tamed It (4:58)
165. Viva Voce! - Perpetual No/Wrecked Reprise (6:02)
166. Viva Voce! - Salsalito (3:48)
167. Viva Voce! - Someplace Worth Being (3:26)
168. Viva Voce! - Let's Bend Light (8:17)
169. Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue (5:44)
170. Built to Spill - Big Dipper (4:09)
171. Violent Femmes - I swear it (i can change) (2:44)
172. David Cassidy - I Think I Love You (2:54)
173. Neutral Milk Hotel - Ghost (4:08)
174. Sebadoh - Flame (4:54)
175. photobooth - Ooh Wee Ooh (2:16)
176. Black Heart Procession - Pulsecheck (2:02)
177. Shirley Bassey - He needs me (3:31)
178. Ella Fitzgerald - Blue Skies (3:45)
179. Billie Holiday - P.S. I love you (3:37)
180. Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah (4:08)
181. Modest Mouse - Sleepwalking (3:21)
182. Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism (7:54)
183. Spiritualized - Floating in space (3:41)
184. The White Stripes - We Are Going To Be Friends (2:20)
185. Elliott Smith - Pretty (Ugly Before) (4:46)
186. Clinic - Distortions (4:01)
187. Pinback - Boo (3:58)
188. The Arcade Fire - No Cars Go (6:02)
189. Danielson Famile - Sold! To The Nice Rich Man (4:57)
190. Modest Mouse - One Chance (3:04)
191. Radiohead - No Surprises (3:48)
192. Pinback - Fortress (4:10)
193. The Postal Service - Nothing Better (3:46)
194. Air - Cherry Blossom Girl (3:41)
195. hefner - when angels play their drum machines (3:50)
196. New Order - Someone Like You (5:42)
197. Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (4:21)
198. The Flaming Lips - Are You A Hypnotist?? (4:44)
199. Esthero - Country Livin' (4:15)
200. Björk - Possibly Maybe (5:06)
201. The Cardigans - Happy Meal II (2:36)
202. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps (3:39)
203. Yo La Tengo - Today Is The Day (5:34)
204. Built To Spill - The Weather (4:34)
205. Cure - Pictures of you (4:45)
206. Church - Under the Milky way (4:57)
207. Beatles - Do You Want To Know A Secret (1:59)
208. The Beach Boys - Wounldt'n It Be Nice (2:24)

!Sean

Current Music : Interpol - C'mere

Grand canyon

going on vacation
be back thursday, 6/23/05
I'll be taking pictures

!Sean

Current Music : Ella fitzgerald - Blue skies

a long day for black socks

today was a-
waking up late,
studying a bit,
sipping coffee,
getting a ride,
park pictures,
spontaneous plans,
going to a bonfire,
going bowling,
making important words,
holding hands,
solemnly joyful,
distracted by beauty,
stepping out of the car in the gutter kind of day
and the best part is I spent it all with the most amazing person...

...and then suddenly I realize every pretense I find so crucial is unnecessary.


p.s: I'm falling. someone call in the firemen with their safety nets because I'm not going to land anytime soon.

!Sean

Current Music : Deathcab for cutie - We laugh indoors

THE PHOTOGRAPH

The flame crept up the portrait line by line
As it lay on the coals in the silence of night's profound,
And over the arm's incline,
And along the marge of the silkwork superfine,
And gnawed at the delicate bosom's defenceless round.

Then I vented a cry of hurt, and averted my eyes;
The spectacle was one that I could not bear,
To my deep and sad surprise;
But, compelled to heed, I again looked furtive-wise
Till the flame had eaten her breasts, and mouth, and hair.

"Thank God, she is out of it now!" I said at last,
In a great relief of heart when the thing was done
That had set my soul aghast,
And nothing was left of the picture unsheathed from the past
But the ashen ghost of the card it had figured on.

She was a woman long hid amid packs of years,
She might have been living or dead; she was lost to my sight,
And the deed that had nigh drawn tears
Was done in a casual clearance of life's arrears;
But I felt as if I had put her to death that night! . . .

* * *

- Well; she knew nothing thereof did she survive,
And suffered nothing if numbered among the dead;
Yet--yet--if on earth alive
Did she feel a smart, and with vague strange anguish strive?
If in heaven, did she smile at me sadly and shake her head?
-- Thomas Hardy

for everyone who's ever burned a picture

!Sean

Current Music : The Church - Under the milky way

sdfsdfsdf

really good day today, studying and reading, then movies with carolyn and her friend kelly.

14 days til the chspe exam, I couldnt have too much time to study.

I'm out of filmm which is a bummer.. I want to get some more b&w.
I also want to possibly get development stuff and a scanner, so I could handle all of my own processing, and ultimately get a photo printer.

digital/film hybrid process: you expose the film and develop the negatives, but scan them using a high-resolution film scanner instead of enlarging them using a bulky and expensive enlarger, and then treat them like digital photos after that.

If I had as firm a grasp on the rest of my life as I do on photography, things wouldnt be as interesting.

!Sean

Current Music : Viva Voce! - N luv w/u

polanerds!

yesssssss



my day ruled, I don't know about yours.

also, I watched noi the albino... it was really blah.. another greek tragedy.

!Sean

Current Music : Viva voce! - No/wrecked reprise

99.999% to .001
like a candle in a hurricane,
and it makes my life alright.

san juan was underwhelming, my mom and I went thrift store shopping.
I bought a 636 macro polaroid for $5 and its dead. its ironic that the film cost about three times as much, I gave that to someone who could use it though.

today was goood. went to the park with carolyn, took alot of pictures, talked about pictures and crazy relatives and being descended from crazy relatives, and just being crazy.. and just acting crazy.

I think a list is in order.

sleeping in
poptarts and coffee
duck duck geese
pentax and polaroid; precise pentultimate picture procurement.
packing heavy but traveling light-hearted
having everything I wanted and nothing I needed
climbing trees and not dying
hot water bottles
cds<3

!Sean

Current Music : New Order - Thieves like us

blue skies

I'm getting ready for a drive to san juan capistrano later.

filter stacks, lense caps and camera straps
oh my

!Sean

Current Music : Ella Fitzgerald - Blue skies

today

late to church
free but priceless tea
conversationalism
a hurried brunch
garden club photographer with a darkroom
and a machete inside of a spitoon
prints fit for a prince
short but sweet phonecalls
wide-angle macros of flowery crap
dirt tracks into the house
mishearing 'settling' for 'acetyline'

!Sean

Current Music : Deathcab for cutie - The sound of acetyline

Dear diary,
I like her eyes, she likes my dimple.

I started this week by dropping off a hell of a lot of applications and being super friendly and persistant and now I've been roadblocked- I cannot get a work permit until I'm 18 or graduated, if I werent homeschooled then I might be able to. but no, I'm homeschooled and I have no superintendant and I have no diploma and I'm still a minor.

blah. even if starbucks does want to hire me- which they probably do -they cant.

I developed film tonight with mark, he's from my mom's garden club. The negatives looked half-decent, but I'm not sure how good the actual prints will look.

Does anyone else feel like they're dreaming?

!Sean

Current Music : Built to spill - Big dipper

sorry in advance

my shower is broken, so if you get too close to me this week and smell patchuli that's why.

haha

!Sean

Current Music : The Arcade Fire - Un Annee Sans Lumiere

gitzooooooooo

more applications tomorrow
got a gitzo catalogue in the mail today... good tripods are for good cameras.

!Sean

Current Music : Elliot Smith - Say Yes

applied at 2 starbucks' today

I will get that job.

the best things in life arent free, but cant be bought with money.
money cant buy happiness, but it cant rent it.
not that happiness is even remotely one of the best things.

love. beauty. peace.

yeah.
waxing poetic already, are we?

!Sean

Current Music : The Arcade Fire - No cars go