pictures or whatever.

I dented the truck
The truck dented me

things to do while offline (in first person)
1.Listen to "offline music", which is by no means different from online music, except that you're offline.

2.Play half-life single-player, the only part of half-life's modified beast that works offline is its single-player campaign, so what else would you do, but write another offline post and pick up where you left off in single-player from the last time you were offline?

3. Drink tea, coffee is for being online, tea is for being offline or for thinking.. either or.

4. Think about your shin which may or may not be broken, although this has little to do with being online or not, the absence of things to do has lessened the relief of being on a computer, thus, you contemplate the many definitions and usages of words like "bruised", "chrushed" or "destroyed".

5. Listen to a natalie imbruglia song that reminds you of your girlfriend, who may or may not be online at this very moment, waiting for you to sign on..

6. Much like #5 being offline is packed full of little mysteries, like "who's online?", "Do I have any emails?" or.. "Would people be reading what I'm typing right now if I were online?" or better yet.. "If I were online would I even be writing this??"..

7. This is a bonus question, partially a story:

You go to albertson's to get Safflower oil for cooking-- I know, I've never heard of this crap either before tonight.. obviously something recently instituted to drive up olive oil prices with OPEC.. as you get it you walk to the front and wonder which of the two female cashiers is more likely to ask you what you're going to use this mystery oil for... "I'm going to douse my girlfriend in it and we're gonna play human slip and slide" you'd reply.. at first you're amused, then you realize that neither cashier would ask you, so you just proceed to check-out at the shortest line.

8. You go outside to examine the dent in the hood of the rental truck that caused #4's calamity.. although the hood panel is clearly made out of some plastic-ish type of metal/fetile alloy, you get blamed for "throwing yourself on the hood" by someone who "wasnt even there"... ok so I dont know why I put quotes around that second part, she really wasnt even there and yet she had the stones to explain to *me* how *I* fell on the truck making an ass of myself..

See, I realize I was making an ass out of myself, but it wasnt to gain notariety or anything.. I just felt like it.

I love(read as "I hate") being misunderstood.

9. Get yelled at by your mother(or any other present entity of authority), during and after hood examination which was previous to the safflower allocation safari, and even after that.

10. Go to sleep.

*11.* bonus, ignore your mom in your door-way until she gets pissed.

~added~

12. Watch chapelle's show and aqua-teen-hunger-force for an hour and a half.

Current Music : E-Type - Russian Lullaby